Powerfully creating your desires can be easy and happen quickly. TRYING to create your desires is often hard, arduous, and filled with struggle. Has achieving your goals been difficult and filled with struggle?
Let’s shift your reality around that.
Struggle, tension, and frustration are hallmarks of pursuing misaligned goals and desires. I hear you—you really WANT what you’ve been working towards. I get that, I really do. And that illustrates my point perfectly.
Want is actually about lack. When you name what you want, you are reporting on your current experience of lack. Do you want time off? You probably lack free time. Do you want a million dollars? You probably lack freedom around money. Do you want more energy? You probably lack physical, mental, emotional and/or spiritual energy.
You have to push yourself to achieve a want based goals. Pushing yourself requires willpower. Struggle. Frustration. That is perfectly aligned with your Identity (how you’re being), and misaligned with your Soul (who you really are). That means that pushing for these goals drains your energy. And that isn’t fun or joyful!
Let’s continue to shift your reality around that.
The key is to connect with your true, aligned desires. Not what you think you want, not a passing fancy, and likely not stuff or a short lived experience—but your true desires. A true desire—rather than want—is not about what you lack, but what you crave. What will bring you joy.
An aligned desire lights you up and pulls you forward into the life you dream about (when you let yourself really dream). An aligned desire is NOT about taking a desire and aligning it to your purpose. An aligned desire is a desire you discover that is so in tune and aligned with your path that accessing it energizes you and pulls you toward it—as if by magic.
Like stepping on a moving sidewalk, aligned desires pull you forward toward your aligned goals.
Recently I was teaching a small group of business women about “Creating Inspired Goals for Inspired Results.” One of the points I was making was that clear, aligned goals are the necessary first steps for inspired (and struggle-free) results.
I walked one brave volunteer through an exercise to help her get super, crystal clear on what her true desires were, so she could set an aligned goal. We started with a goal that she had set but was having trouble achieving—she wanted to lose 10 pounds, and had been making very little real progress toward that goal over the last several months.
I knew right away that this was NOT an aligned goal, NOT motivated by true desire. Here were the clues:
- Struggle: The actions she was taking were not joyful to her, and in fact she had characterized the whole process as a battle.
- Tension: She talked about the internal tug of war between the will required for actions that would lead to the goal (eating healthy), and the temptations along the way (eating junk), including the pastry that was on offer at the meeting.
- Frustration: In spite of her concerted and sustained efforts, she had made very little progress over several months.
This lovely woman was willing to be vulnerable, so within only a few minutes we got her super, crystal clear on her true desires. Once she was clear, her aligned goal came to her immediately.
How did we do this? By using her wants to get clear on her desires.
Your wants give you important clues to your true desires. When questioned about why she wants to lose 10 pounds, she talked about looking and feeling good. When asked about why she wants to look and feel good, she realized she wasn’t as invested in looking good, but wanted to feel good and be healthy. Why did she want to be healthy? This is when we struck gold: she talked for a few moments, then you could see and feel the shift in her reality when she got clear about why.
She wanted to be present and fully engaged with her middle school aged kids now to forge a lifelong, close relationship. She talked about their graduations, weddings and other milestones she was looking forward to enjoying with them. She wanted to be healthy and energetic so she could not only hold but play with and thoroughly enjoy her grandchildren 20 plus years into the future. The room could feel her energy change (and see her tear up) when she accessed the truth of her desire.
It was beautiful.
I asked her if her true desire was to be healthy and fully connected to the those she loved. “Yes! That’s actually all I want. I’m going to take that yoga class I’ve been putting off!” She was radiant as she accessed the energy of her truth.
Accessing her aligned desires of being healthy and fully connected pulled her toward her aligned goals. She got very clear that while losing 10 pounds would be nice and may happen along the way, this was not actually her goal. Her goal was to become healthy and more present in her life. We further defined what healthy, connected, and present meant to her (i.e. made the goal tangible), and came up with a strategy for this to happen. I asked her how she felt about the pastry that a few minutes before had created such tension…and she replied that it was no longer calling to her, as it didn’t help her be healthy or more fully connected.
She glowed. Her reality shifted. This process took about 4 minutes. It was magic.
Discovering her aligned desires unlocked her aligned goals. Unlocking her aligned goals freed her energy and connected her with her joy. She shifted her reality from struggle, tension, and frustration to ease, flow, and joy. Additionally, all of her actions toward her goals look remarkably similar from the outside, but instead of pushing through to achieve her goals, she is being pulled forward easily as if by magic.
Would you like to be pulled forward to your goals easily as if by magic?